Dyre Rhea & the Dri-Heaves had their beginnings at a campus karaoke night at SHCAB (St. Hairy’s College of Art and Breadmaking), where they were forced by fate to sing an impromptu duet of Paula Abdul’s 1989 hit “Opposites Attract.”
Al and John were in the same class at the esteemed college, located in a backwater in southern Maryland. Al was majoring in graphic arts and minoring in Sourdough, while John was majoring in Rye with a cross-disciplinary focus in watercolors, Soda Bread, and the history of Prussian millinery. The two had met as Freshman while attending a lecture entitled “The Rise and Fall of Sourdough-Centered Still Lifes in Interbellum European Painting,” presented by visiting professor, author, and founder of Grub Furst’s Brechtian Bakery & Bookshop, Dr. Joann Purplestockings. The men knew each other to say hello but neither would have considered the other a friend, and certainly had never considered performing together.
As documented in the SHCAB student newspaper, Hairy’s Yeasty Weekly, both mean were participating in a karaoke contest in an improvised coffee house in the graphic arts building, when they were called to the stage at the same time. Al was expecting to sing the Dolly Parton version of “I Will Always Love You” (Al was going through a tough breakup and looking for catharsis.) John was expecting to sing “Sweating Bullets” by Megadeth. (John just enjoyed singing Megadeth songs.)
History has not recorded whether there was a deliberate prank, an act of outrageous incompetence on the part of the DJ, or if it was simply the hand of fate that pushed the two art students together. The mystery remains, but before John and Al could sort out who would sing first, the distinctive synthesized synth-clavier opening of “Opposites Attract” started blasting through the coffee house speakers. Booth men decided to roll with it and performed a flawless duet of the song. It has been said that grainy camcorder footage exists to support the claim that John improvised choreography which rivaled Ms. Abdul’s original, but no such footage has been offered for public inspection. Snopes flatly denies the claim, saying that absolutely no evidence exists to support it, and that the improvised coffee house in the lobby of the Wonder Breads Drawing Center certainly did not offer enough space for dancing, anyhow.
John and Al celebrated their surprise duet over glasses of iced chai. The two began to hang out and it wasn’t long before the idea of performing together took hold.
For their first gig, Al rehearsed several Simon and Garfunkel numbers on a Yamaha folk guitar in the stairwell of his dormitory, as well as an acoustic version of “Opposites Attract”. Before long, Al and John made their debut, opening at the campus rec center on a bill that included Kasturi Gunder’s Kazoo Quintet and campus favorites The George Clooney Country-Folk Geniuses.
John prepared by drinking three or four mugs of Barq’s Root Beer spiked with Crown Royal, with sidecars of NoDoze, while blasting Metallica albums on his Discman. Al prepared by taking an imodium and obsessively re-reading his TAB books.
Finally, their big moment arrived. As Al picked out the delicate opening chords of “Sounds of Silence,” John puked out the final mug of Barq’s & Crown into Al’s Yamaha and spent the next twenty-seven minutes wracked with spasms of gastrointestinal distress. Al never played that particular guitar again, but the duo had found a name.
After the Country-Folk Geniuses finished their set, members of that band (including the future husband of a world-renowned composer of modern classical music), persuaded John and Al to return to the stage. Al borrowed a roundback Ovation guitar and, after briefly bickering about tunings, mic placement, harmonies, and tempo, the duo performed a blistering, ten-minute acoustic cover of Metallica’s “One,” despite pleas from the audience for them to do otherwise.
Thus a magical partnership was born.
Keep your eyes peeled- soon we will publish The Origin Story: Part 2, in which John and Al meet Amadeus Grok and Y.E.R. Mom at a party in Baltimore’s CopyCat building.